Talking to a counsellor can help when
- You feel nobody is listening, nobody understands
- You want to talk about personal, confidential matters with somebody who isn’t directly involved but will give you support
- You want to explore emotional topics in a place where it is safe to show your feelings
- You’re finding it hard to express yourself, and need time to work things through.
‘Talking therapies’ can help us to work through grief, anger, guilt and frustration. It can be such a relief to share the feelings you usually have to hide. Talking about feelings can be hard work, and emotional, but often there is a lot of laughter, too, and a sense of release when you confront things that have been troubling you.
Psychotherapy takes it further, and is most effective if you want to understand not just how you are feeling, but why. For example, you might be asking yourself questions like
- Why do my relationships keep going wrong?
- Why do I react so badly to authority?
- Why am I sometimes confident, then suddenly anxious?
- Why does a certain person always make me feel small?
- Why am I avoiding intimacy / responsibility / change?
Sometimes, life is fine, except for one area that you feel is closed to you – you might have a feeling that you can’t do something, that you’re not entitled to something, that you’re doomed to failure or ridicule.
Sometimes, it can feel as if there are two sides to us – a confident, successful side and a self-sabotaging, hopeless side that says ‘I am no good, I am nothing.’ And there’s no telling when the hopeless side of you might decide to take over.
Sometimes, it’s possible to detect recurring patterns – a series of relationships that have failed in similar ways, repetitive arguments, a series of opportunities turned down, or repeatedly failing to keep the promises you make to yourself.
Learning more about what ‘makes us tick’ is fascinating – and life-changing.